I’m originally from the Philippines, came to America 6 years ago in search of a new adventure in my life. In that 6 years I managed to get a Bachelor’s Degree in Animation, my second degree (first one was Fine Arts), get married and have a baby.
I was told by my obgyn a long time ago, that because of my condition, I will never be able to get pregnant naturally, without any medical help. My Loukas proved her wrong.
So my little one was the biggest surprise in my life….literally big because he was a 9 pound baby. Loukas my son just turned 1.
When I found out I was pregnant I knew exactly what I wanted …. a natural birth with no shots, medicine, especially no epidural. I had two doulas, a midwife and my iPod filed with meditating music and exercises for a hypno-birth. I never dilated enough and after three days of painful labor pains I developed a high fever and my baby’s heart rate went down and had to have a c-section. It was a very exhausting and emotional experience. I will never forget the panic I felt when I didn’t hear him cry after they pulled him out of me. They had to revive him and I was so relieved when he finally gave a little cry. Will never forget that feeling and beautiful experience of meeting my little miracle for the first time.
I wish I knew how hard it would be. I’ve always heard mothers say it, but never knew the level of it until now. I’ve learned you have to be prepared physically, emotionally, mentally and most importantly, is to have support from family and friends.
I really don’t have that yet but I don’t mind. My baby is still a year old and it’s only recently that I am able to do house chores while he’s awake. And that’s a big deal to me and makes me happy. And now that he walks, well we go outside to check the mailbox and throw the trash. He still wakes at night many times, so I lose a lot of sleep. So when he takes his naps in the day time I rest or try to sleep too. In time I know I will be able to go back to drawing and painting and doing the things I love to do.
Loukas always makes my day. He is such a happy and silly baby. He doesn’t speak yet, but he sure has a lot to say from the moment he wakes up. One day we went to his doctor for his shot, and when the nurse gave his injection he looked at her and started lecturing her with his serious tone of voice. She just laughed.
I also love how affectionate he his. I call him my hugga-bear. There will be moment where he won’t care for milk, food, to play and not even to watch videos on my computer. He will simply climb up to me and embrace me for a long time. It can last for twenty minutes, and if I try to move he will complain. So we just hang on to each other until he is ready to let go. To me that’s priceless.
I love that loukas and I have our own language that no one will ever crack or know. We know each other so well without even speaking. We can look at each other and start laughing. His love is so unconditional and he is so sensitive and present that I can have a bad day or when I’m frustrated and tired he will give me a pat on my shoulder and a look that says….”you’re alright mama”. And then I am.
If there’s something about motherhood you dislike, what would it be?
I dislike the fact that I haven’t slept straight in a year. I miss that. But his cuteness makes up for it and I get over it. What I dislike most are comparisons. When parents ask if your baby has teeth at 6 months or walking by 10 months just like their kids. Honestly, I don’t care and no matter what it may be, I want Loukas to go at his own pace and not ever feel pressured to be on the same page as everyone.
All children are different and that’s what makes them all special.
Our day starts with morning talks on the bed until we are completely awake and I prepare breakfast for us and we take our time eating and drinking and converse some more. We watch videos of the muppets and sesame street and play with his toys or read books. We go out for a walk in his stroller for hours after for his first nap and I walk until he falls asleep and head back home to rest too or finish some house chores. When he wakes from naps we cuddle and play again. If I need to go outside to throw the trash or check the mailbox I put his shoes on him and he knows what that means and gets excited and helps to put his shoes or jacket if it’s chilly outside. At night we eat dinner, take a bath then play peekaboo or chase the baby and laugh on the bed until Loukas is tired from laughing and we hum songs together and rock on the rocking chair until he falls asleep.
Just to take it a day at a time and enjoy it because time flies and it really does.
To start a good sleep training early and to immediately let the baby sleep on his own bed. He’s so used to sleeping beside his mama that it’s difficult to break that habit without chaos and cries.
I don’t work at the moment, so I’m able to give Loukas all the attention and time he needs. I know, once I start working again, I will miss every single moment spent with him.