Tag: birth stories

Get The World Ready: A Dettol Campaign for Mums

My daughter is five years-old, she’ll be six in August and yet I can still remember what it was like being pregnant with her, especially the last couple of weeks before giving birth.  I was a first time mum and was:

Excited

I couldn’t wait to hold her in my arms.  To see her face, to cuddle and kiss her.  I wondered: Will she look like me?  Will she look like my husband?

Impatient

The nine months felt like forever, especially the last few weeks, it went on and on.  I couldn’t wait any longer!  I wanted to give birth to her now!  Please let it happen now!

And then like all new mums, I was Scared:

Will I know what to do?  Will I be able to cope without any help from my family who lives so far away from me? Am I ready to be a mother?  Do we have everything we need?  Have we cleaned our whole house from top to bottom?  Is it clean enough?  Will it ever be clean enough?  I wouldn’t want her to catch germs.

babyt_littlesteps

And then it happened.  I finally gave birth to her, she was out.  I remember looking at her in awe and wondering “Did she really come from me?  What now?”  I felt this over-powering abundance of love all over me.  This is my baby.  I love her.  I love every bit of her, every fibre of her being.  But the fear was still there. In the hospital though, we had help from all the lovely midwives, patient enough to answer all my questions “Why isn’t she latching?  Doesn’t she want me?  Why is she doing that? Is it normal? Why is she making that sound?  Is she supposed to sleep that much?”

Taking Our Baby Home

Once in the safety of our own house, I remember sensing Fear also settle in along with my new baby.  It also made itself at home, poured itself its own cup of tea, settled itself on the couch with me, stared at me while I tried to figure out what to do with this tiny, helpless baby who relied on me and my husband for everything.

babyT3_littlesteps

Then life happened.   Days turned into weeks, the weeks into months, the months into years and she’s a little girl now.  Fear still lives with us.  I still have daily conversations with Fear:

Am I doing everything right for my little girl? Am I making the right decisions for her?  What if I make mistakes?  Will I end up ruining her life?  Will she blame me and hate me for all the choices I made for her?

Five years down the line, I’ve learned to co-exist with Fear.  I know when to hush it, and also know when to trust my instincts which is far stronger and wiser than Fear.

In support of all new mums or mums-to-be, Dettol has come up with a campaign “Get the World Ready”.  They invite everyone to listen to stories from real mums, who share the same fears as me, you, them, us.  Yes, the good news is we are not alone, as mothers, as parents, we all share the same daily fears and Dettol is there to help us along the way, regardless of whether you are a new mum, or expecting your third child.

Do you remember what it was like to bring your first child back home with you?

Did you have any fears?  How did you cope with them?

Do share.

*This is a collaborated post, however words and photos are by yours truly.

March Chat with a Mum: Reneé of Mummy Tries

I can’t believe it’s March already, spring is definitely just around the corner.  It’s unbelievable that winter is finally almost over – thank goodness for that!

Here at Chats with Mums, I’m excited to introduce to you guys (for those who haven’t heard or read her blog yet), the lovely woman behind the blog Mummy Tries … she really does (love her blog name!), if that alone doesn’t get you hooked, I don’t know what will 😉 … So without further ado, sit back, preferably with a cup of tea or coffee, come and have a read:

Tell us something about yourself and your little ones (age & sex)

I’m Reneé, wife to Andy and mummy to Polly (5), Clara (3) and Freddy (1). I’m also a blogger, part time PA, real food lover/wannabe chef and published author of self-help book Become the Best You.

Renee 17JAN15

What was your children’s birth story like?

Polly’s birth was pretty horrendous it has to be said. We wanted a natural home birth, but it didn’t work out that way. After five days in early labour and 12 hours in established labour she got stuck and we were blue lighted to the hospital. She was delivered a few hours later by forceps, and I ended up with thirty odd stitches. I was so in love with her and glad she was here at last that it didn’t strike me until much later how awful her birth was. Hats off to the amazing home birth midwife who faught the hospital to ensure I received an epidural once we arrived, even though I was 9cm dilated! It allowed me enough respite to be able to push for two hours. Without it I’m convinced I would have had an emergency c-section.

Second time around I fared up much better, and Clara was delivered naturally in the midwife led birthing unit at our local hospital after a 12 hour labour. Although I still had to push for an hour and a half. Freddy came into the world within three hours of arriving at the birthing centre, and after just 20 minutes of pushing. My husband joked that it was a shame we were stopping at three because I’d got so good at giving birth!

What you wish you knew about being a mother, before becoming one?

In my humble opinion absolutely nothing can prepare a woman for motherhood. I had a lot of friends who had babies already when I was pregnant with Polly, and I’d worked out a lot of things I wanted to do and didn’t want to do with her. I had a great first time experience but once Clara came along life became much more challenging, and some things that worked with one child just didn’t work with two. This intensified again when Freddy came along. I don’t have a set formula or rule book. I just take each day as it comes and always try my very best. It’s all anyone can do really.

How do you manage your “me-time”?

When the girls were little we’d take annual leave from work, send them to nursery, and have nice lunches, spa days, watch a film. Do all the things it becomes impossible to do once you have kids and no babysitters on hand. I’ve not had much in the way of me time since having Freddy, but that will change now that he’s one and not quite so attached to the boob.

StPancrasSelfie 19FEB15

Last year I had two little snippets of me time: my hubby watched the kids while I had a colonic hydrotherapy treatment (not everyone’s idea of fun!), and I also had a fab long lunch with one of my besties just before Xmas. Hubby and I have been talking about a spa weekend at some point this year, and leaving the kids with his parents overnight for the first time ever.

Do you have a favourite anecdote of your little ones?

During Xmas 2013 Clara, who wasn’t quite two at the time, referred to it as ‘pippis’, and as you can imagine that got quite a few chuckles over the festive season. Mine are still a bit small to have funny stories to embarrass them with when they’re teenagers, but I’m sure there will be a fair few by then.

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What is it about Motherhood you absolutely love about?

I love the fact that my husband and I have created a family. I’m completely estranged from my side, and we have physical distance separating us from hubby’s side. The five of us will always have each other though, and that is a pretty amazing thing.

If there is anything about Motherhood you dislike about, what would it be?

I really dislike it when pushy parents make everything a competition, as it takes all the fun out of childhood. It can be quite inescapable once they start school, but I try and avoid it as much as I can.

What’s a typical day like for you and your little ones?

Our days are really varied to be honest. They’re a mixture of school, nursery, two days of work which is mostly from home but sometimes entails going into the office in London. Mornings can be quite hectic in our house, but we have been working hard to stop shouting, and eradicate negative parenting behaviours though, which makes them less stressful than they used to be.

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There’s always lots to do in the kitchen throughout the day, as we eat a diet consisting entirely of natural foods. This means I have to be organised, as there’s never the option to just open a packet or jar of something for a quick bite. It’s great though, because the girls already know where their food comes from, as they see real food all the time and are often involved in the preparation of it.

I’ve just got myself on Instagram, so tend to share bits about the kids and food throughout the day. My blogging time is while Freddy is having his last feed after the girls go to bed.

Best advice you’ve ever received about Motherhood?

Expect one hideous day per week at least. My friend had a baby the year I was pregnant first time round, and passed on this gem. I remember holding on tight to those words in the early days and not feeling so bad about the tough ones.

If you could give yourself advice about motherhood before becoming one, what would it be?

My advice would be don’t compare your kids to anyone else’s, and don’t compare siblings to each other. We are all different and this includes children. People should be treated according to their own individual personalities.

How do you manage your time between work and your little ones?

I’m fortunate that I only work two days a week, and have a flexible working arrangement in place enabling me to work from home mostly. I travel into London once a month for an office day, and they can get rather hairy! Working from home means I don’t have to worry about the stress and additional time constraints commuting adds to the mix. Things might change in the future, but for now it’s an ideal solution.

Thank you so much Reneé!

Click here to view her blog.

and of course, don’t forget to follow her tweets,

Lastly, click here to purchase her book! 🙂

For those of you who have missed February’s Chat with a Dad, do head over and have a read.