I’m pleased to share June’s Chat with a Dad with you folks. Here is a man who writes with his heart, especially when talking about his lovely family. A man who also is funny as well as heart-warming. There are many men who happen to be dads who blog out there, but not all of them I find as moving as his.
This one is aptly called Ah Dad …
Tell us something about yourself and your little one(s).
I blog. And I’m a Dad. And most of the time I try to make the latter my priority.
Ok, seriously. I blog because I’m a Dad. A father to two of the most amazing creatures alive. I know every Dad says that, but if you know them you’ll most definitely agree. I find myself often wondering what the hell I did in a previous life to deserve this blessing. I must have been Ghandi or something.
There’s Son who’s 13, whom I call Dude, as I am the cool parent, and Princess who’s 11. And I call her Princess for obvious reasons.
The secret to their amazingness is they get most of their genes from their Mother, whom is my greatest confidant, best friend, soul mate, life partner and the air I breathe. Fortunately for them they look like her too.
What was your little one(s) birth story(ies) like?
Well, it was tough. There were bucket loads of anxiety, uncontrolled sobbing, a lot of pushing and shoving and a few frustrated confrontations.
And the wife had to go through labour, as well.
I didn’t pass out. Not once, and even cut the umbilical cord of Princess, as Son refused to come out of the warm, comfortable swimming pool in Mom’s tummy. He was born via emergency caesarean.
The birth of your child changes everything about who you think you are. In that moment when they place the screaming infant in your arms, emotion floods your system. A mixed cocktail of love and compassion and pride and fear…
What you wish you knew about being a Dad before becoming one?
How tough natural birth would be on a Dad. Some things cannot be un-seen.
Other than that, I didn’t expect to fall instantly in love with a new born human. And maybe I would have paid better attention to my own Father, who at the time of me growing up, seemed totally insane in most of the advice he was dishing out.
How do you balance your time between work and fatherhood?
It’s the hardest thing to do and I’m not even sure I’m doing it properly. I don’t have a physical demanding job, but travel extensively abroad. I’ve always enjoyed doing arbitrary things with them.
For me, the most important thing about being a Father is not what you do that matter, it just spending time doing it. It’s managing a different relationship, and like all relationships, takes commitment from both sides.
I do think that as the adult in this specific relationship, we should always make the first move.
How do you manage child-free time with your wife? Do you have date-nights?
Our kids are older, so we do more things together as a family without having to fall within the boundaries of feeding and nap times.
The wife and I seldom feel the need to spend time alone, as we normally talk, reminisce and do other things we love when the kids go to bed. I suppose as they get older, and go to bed later; we might require specific arrangements to get away from them.
Nonetheless we usually have a date weekend at least once a year.
Any favourite anecdotes of your little one(s)?
The fact that I call my son, Dude and he reverts with Dad, which might seem pretty obvious, but English not being our native language, makes this form of greeting quite special. We also tend to quote “Whatchadoin?” from Phineas and Ferb, which is our favourite show.
Princess thinks I’m her hero. What more could a father ask for? She likes sitting on my lap, even though she might be technically too big for that sort of thing. I’m not complaining.
What is it about fatherhood you love about?
Having someone love you unconditionally.
Having someone whom I love unconditionally.
Having someone teach me more about myself every day.
Having someone who makes me want to be a better version of myself.
If there is anything about fatherhood you dislike about, what would it be?
Not being able to own a Ferrari, because some consider it impractical for a family of four. I don’t think a Ferrari with a roof rack, with two kids strapped on it, will fly with the authorities.
But being away from them, and feeling that gigantic hole in my heart as I sit on a plane, that is the one thing crappy thing about being a dad. You know those moments when you realise part of your essence is missing.
If you were given the chance to be a stay-at-home-Dad would you take it?
This one is easy. No. Never. Not in a million years. Not if they paid me a gazillion dollars. (Wait that might persuade me… Any takers?)
I’m a Dad, which is the male form of a parent. And we all know men cannot multi-task. If I had to manage everything that happens in the daily life of my kids, I’ll go insane and probably murder someone in the process.
There is a total misconception of the “idle” life that stay-at-home parents have. And in our house, the wife is the glue that keeps everything together. The fact that she’s a teacher as well, only emphasise the statement I made in question 1.
Besides I don’t like hard work. And looking after kids for the whole day; seems like very hard work. I do love them though…
Best Advice you’ve ever received about Fatherhood?
Don’t kill your children, it’s considered a crime.
Kids are just small humans, waiting to grow into adults, so as parents we should learn to listen to them. Allow them to have a voice, an opinion, so that you have the opportunity to guide them in forming a better one.
And love your wife. (For she might be reading this.)
If you could give yourself advice before becoming a Dad, what would it be?
Don’t stop at 2. Have more kids. And have patience, sh!t loads of it.
Thank you so much Ah Dad!
Now head over to his blog, it definitely is worth a read!
And certainly worth a follow over at twitter too.
I’ve linked this post-up with #PoCoLo