It’s not T that’s for sure. It’s actually me! What’s even more embarrassing about this, is that this isn’t T’s first day in school, she came back as a Year 2 and is now actually considered one of the “older kids”. I know I really should get a grip with myself. I’ve been a bundle of emotions ever since she turned six. Come on woman, stiff-upper lip! No more of this nonsense! Yes, I have been trying to snap out of this soppiness. I’m hoping it will be all gone come Monday morning.
Thank goodness T breezed through first day with nary a whinge or a tear. Yes, she stood by my side and didn’t run around the playground like the other kids and only moved away from me when her friends came over to collect her. When the bell rang, my husband and I said goodbye and she trotted off without even looking back, so different from the tearful reception girl two years ago.
As for me? I came home with a heavy heart. I’m glad though that a good friend (mum of one of T’s closest friends) came home with me and as we chatted and sipped our coffee I felt a wave of emptiness wash over me. My friend felt it too, even though she still has another child at home with her, we bemoaned what felt like the loss of our kids, even though in reality they were in school probably running around like loonies in the playground, not thinking about their over-emotional parents at all.
The truth is, if my husband and I had a choice we’d like little T to stay with us at home and wouldn’t mind homeschooling her. I read blogs by mums who home educate their little ones and envy how much time they spend with their kids. My husband and I love having our daughter with us. We love her company, doing things with her, and having little chats with her. We genuinely like having her with us. Perhaps that’s one of the reasons why we’ve never used a babysitter. If we can’t go to a place or attend an event that won’t allow us to bring her, then we’re not going. It’s as simple as that. Our daughter goes where we go. But as much as we would love for her to be home-schooled, I’m afraid it won’t be a good option for T.
My little girl is a lot like me, you see. We’re both quiet and reserved people. T is friendly and will smile at anyone who smiles at her, but she won’t run up to other kids like her friends until she’s feeling comfortable enough to do so. It takes her awhile to warm up, but once she has, she’ll run around like a loony and be like any other child her age.
We feel that home-schooling her might make her feel wary of people and other children. I’m not saying all home-schooled children are like that. All kids are different and we know our daughter well.
On the one hand though, she has an inner strength I really admire. When her friends were quitting gymnastics because it got too “scary” for them, my little T persevered and didn’t quit. She’s not a quitter and I’m really proud of her. At the moment, we’re lucky that the village school she goes to is a lovely one, where the teachers and students are supportive and she loves it there. We will only consider other options, if the wind changes. For now, we’re staying put.
What about you?
Would you consider home-schooling your kids too?